In light of a lightbulb Q+A question posed to me earlier by Daniel, I went off and found a whole heap. Just so he can't get the satisfaction of asking them. I won't waste much more of your time:

Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. That's a hardware problem.

Q: How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!

Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three: One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation
specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.

Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, the bulb will change itself when it is ready.

Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
A: You can unscrew a light bulb.

Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three: One to get the bulb and two to get the phone number to dial one of
their subordinates to actually change it.

Q: How many IBM types does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 100. Ten to do it, and 90 to write document number GC7500439-001,
Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of the pages
state only "This page intentionally left blank", and 20% of the definitions ar
e of the form "A ------" consists of sequences of non-blank characters
separated by blanks".

Q: How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to screw it in, and the other to say "Fabulous!"

Q: How many WordPerfect support technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We have an exact copy of the light bulb here, and it seems to be working fine. Can you tell me what kind of system you have? Ok. Now, exactly how dark is it? Ok, there could be four or five things wrong...have you tried the light switch?

Q: How many Microsoft Vice Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eight. One to change the bulb, and seven to make sure Microsoft gets $2.00 for every light bulb ever changed anywhere in the world.

Q: How many software testers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We just noticed the room was dark; we don't actually fix the problems.

Q: How many software developers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The light bulb works fine on the system in my office...

Q: How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.

Q: How many Oregonians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to turn the bulb, and four to chase away the Californians who have come to relate to the experience.

Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Fifty. Fifty? Yeah, fifty! It's in the contract!

Q: How many straight, normal San Franciscans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Both of them.

Q: How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old one was.

Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The light bulb will change itself when it is ready.

Q: How many people from New Jersey does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to change the bulb, one to witness, and one to shoot the witness.

Q: How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.

Q: How many Real Women does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. A Real Woman would have lots of Real Men around to change it.

Q: How many Polacks does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but you need 6,000 Russian troops in case he goes on strike.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford?

Q: How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: What kind of answer have you got in mind?

Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. "Don't mind me, I'll just sit here in the dark while you go out and have fun."

Q: How many generals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 1,000,001. One to change the bulb, and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where we need light bulbs again.

Q: How many existentialists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw it in, and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out towards a cosmos of nothingness.


Q: How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three, but they're really one.

Q: How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it takes at least three light bulbs.

Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's not funny!

Q: How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.

Q: How many supply-side economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself
in.

Q: How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. It turned itself in.

Q: How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven: One to install the new bulb, and six to figure what to do with
the old one for the next 10,000 years.

Interesting, some of them are worth laughing about, others leave you wondering what the hell they are on about.
Until next time
PS Just to clear this one up
Q. How many Dutch people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Ik snap er geen reet van, wat lult die gozer nou?

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 25, 2004 at 11:16 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.