Well, I dunno about you, but today I wiped my ass with Quilton toilet paper with Micro-Quilting technology. FOR CHRIST'S SAKE it's JUST toilet paper. I looked at the packaging and I was like, wow, yeah, this must really be something. I mean Micro-Quilting technology, three big fancy words. Sadly, I was dissapointed, as the ass-wiping experience proved to be just the same.

I then went on to read what it said. Apart from Quilted 3 ply softness "Thick and Luxurious", on the back it read:

Quilton, a sumptuously soft and pillowy bathroom tissue that is the finest of its kind. Three cushioned layers of tissue have been brought together through the unique European Micro-Quilting Technology to give the ultimate combination in luxurious softness, strength and absorbency.

Lightly scented at the core for added freshness, Quilton is available in three decorative varieties: Classic White, Floral Soft and Ocean Blue.

It's even got a friggin diagram showing the three layers. Clearly this Micro quilting bullcrap is a poor attempt at a marketing tool to appeal to buyers. It doesn't even explain how it works. Now of course because this is an EUROPEAN technology it is EXTRA SPECIAL. Ooohhh!

I was not impressed. I will abuse mum for buying it. Unless it was on special or something, because this "luxurious tissue" is no better than the rest.

I will provide anyone with a free sample upon request so you can test it for yourself. I have the Ocean Blue variety just in case you were wondering.

fkn toilet paper. I am considering writing them a letter asking about their so called "technology".

Toilet paper and technology in the same sentence, it's just not right...

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 03, 2005 at 10:07 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.